Chapter 7
​Insight

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​                            Love Song
Having lost several important people in my life, I’ve made an effort to appreciate and praise the people around me. I used to say that a bit differently. Actually, I would say, “I’ve learned to stare and gawk at life because you never know when it’s going to get ripped out from underneath you!”
        If I like something about someone, I make a point to let them know it. I try not to leave anything of value unsaid because in a moment of time that person could disappear from my life.
        I went to nine different schools up until I graduated from Anacortes High School, in Washington State. Mama said, “Don’t worry about leaving your friends behind. Think of all the new ones you’ll make along the way. Besides, the other ones will always be your friends.” (Hmm, okay Mama, I must have taken that to heart because I still remember you saying it.) She was right. The people I've loved have made lasting footprints in my heart and will forever be a living part of me.
         Mama, also, once told me that my brother, Bruce, was her love child and that I was her joy child. That spoken blessing became imprinted on my spiritual identity. She, my beautiful Rachel, repeatedly said, “Give, Katy, give. Don’t hold back.” My mamalies could go on and on… “Katy, sing with every fiber of your being.” “Never sing a song your heart doesn’t agree with.”
        The mantras have been a call on my life. If I learn something interesting, I want to pass it on. It’s as natural as breathing - my analytical insights, my appreciation, and my touchy, huggy physical expressions.
         Just recently, I came across a job review from my principal while teaching at Trinity Christian School in Guam. Before the review, we teachers were to take the Keirsey Temperament Sorter.[1] My Keirsey character type was that of a “Guardian.” The model fits well with my personality.
        “Mrs. Rovetto typifies a good steward of God’s gifts and blessings. She devotes her time in lesson preparations and conceptualizing musicals and related presentations to provide opportunities for students to express themselves and showcase their talents and skills. She encourages her students to perform well. Her enthusiasm in everything that she does motivates her class and increases their potential for excellence. Her untiring and limitless efforts to reach out to the students in various aspects of their lives is truly commendable.” Wow! Thanks, Mr. Pricer.
        However, it was my students that gave me the best award, “She makes us want to sing.” How can it get any better than that!?
         That was my side of the love coin. It was not only how I gave love, but it was how I expected to receive genuine love up close. The “before Gary” men in my life placed me on a pedestal. Yeah, I liked it up there. All the “est” words were mine, and my vanity enfolded me like a royal robe. The danger of that heady realm was that it became addictive, and I came to rely on the praise of others to validate my self-worth.
 
                                              ​
others to validate my self-worth.           
        The One I claimed to be Lord of my life, Jesus Christ, was trying his best to sit upon my heart’s throne. I suppose I considered that throne more of a “love seat” where he and I would sit side by side. Gentleman that he is, patiently taught me that only he could sit supremely upon the throne of my heart. He repeatedly tried to show me that only he could fill my needs, only he could validate my existence.
         It was about five years into my marriage to Gary that I discovered we didn’t speak the same "love" language. Gary’s love language wasn’t one that coddled my vanity, and God used that as an attention-getting void in my life.​            One day as I sat upon my throne (literally… you know, the throne), I complained to God that he (Gary) seldom told me he thinks I’m pretty or that I look nice. (Oh dear, I wasted money on that new outfit, again!) He doesn’t often reach out to hold my hand or give me a spontaneous hug. I droned on and on with – He doesn’t do this. He doesn’t do that, which became a broken record that I rehearsed over and over, ad nauseam.
        Trying to get a word in edgewise, my ever-patient Lord spoke to my mind. I remember his words clearly, “Katy, I have already promised to meet your needs. What I want you to do is to seek to meet Gary’s needs in the way that he would have them met.”
        What!? That took the spotlight right off of my pity party. I guess the universe didn’t orbit around me after all. I couldn’t comprehend that, at all. I thought, What do you mean? Doesn’t he want to be loved as I do? I give him all the love I can. Apparently, it took a while for the great marriage counselor to get through to me. Eventually, the notion started to sink in and I thought, In what ways does his love-needs differ from mine?
              As I began exploring the differences between us, I thought of some things - maybe he doesn’t always want me interjecting my news-of-the-day when he’s comes home exhausted and just wants to unwind by reading the paper. He’s a soft-spoken, quiet kind of guy, who likes to relax through reading. Maybe, just maybe, he would like more space. Is he an introvert? When the light switched on, I realized I had a great gift. In this new awareness, I had time to set down a lot of the thoughts that keep fizzing up from inside me.
        In the season of my complaining and saying…”He just doesn’t talk to me very much.” I heard from the One in the Upper-room, “Strange, Katy, I feel the same way about you. I don’t hear from you very much. You don’t praise Me and lift Me up as you should. You can’t begin to imagine what I have in store for you when you spend time with me.”
        A bit of time went by as I considered these machinations. Then, one evening as I sat by our cozy, warm fireplace, I picked up my guitar and started strumming a favorite minor chord progression when the dear Lord dropped these words into my heart.   
Love Song

What can I do to let you know how much I love you?
What can I do?
I can let you be just who you are.
Not try to mold you into some superstar,
But just let you be who you are.
I love you just as you are.

What can I do to let you know how much I need you?
What can I do?
I can open up inside of me,
And set aside all superficiality.
I’ll share my rainbows and my pain,
The deepest part of me.

You are beautiful and you’re free.
My heart knows joy because you’ve chosen me.
Live freely within my love …
Within my love.

What can I do to let you know how much you mean to me?
What can I do?
I can listen when you speak to me.
Your secret thoughts are safe within the depth of me.
Where we were two we’ll now be one.
Our lives will be one.

We’ll be the people that we need to be,
Sharing life eternally.
We’ll live freely within God’s love …
Within God’s love.

        My man, in reality, gives me all the love I could ever hope for. Finally, the light dawned that he is my everything and I am his. Another song written for a friend’s wedding ties it all together.

                       And the two are made one.
          One life, one heart they have become.[i]

        So many times we forget to love. The Lord tells us that if we don’t feel love, we should put it on and wear it like a fine garment. Then, before we know it, love will come our way. Again, in reality, that garment of love is none other than the God of love himself. “Oh, thank you, Jesus, that you embrace me with your love until it saturates my being.”
        There are times I tend to drift into the old “Why doesn’t he” pattern, but now, when I hear the first word – why, I snip it by saying, Why… have you been so gracious to me by putting someone as 
wonderful as my husband in my life. I pray that you would bless him and keep him. I pray that your face would shine upon him and give him peace. [ii] Sound familiar. Mentally, I will talk to my man and thank him that he has chosen to spend his life with me. (Only God and Gary know my many barnacles and burrs… and see what I look like in the morning!)
        Indeed, he, my husband, is the one who has left footprints in my heart that will last forever. He is my Proverbs man. Indeed, I can write his name by so many of the verses. He is loving, kind, trustworthy, and ever so much more.
        It took a while, but I finally learned that only God can give me the validation I need. Only He can fill the void in my heart.


[i] From Matthew 19:6, Holy Bible
[ii] From Numbers 6:24-26, Holy Bible